Why we should not stop at just remaking Metal Gear Solid AND WHY THESE REMAKES MUST BE Wii EXCLUSIVES
Guest Editorial by Punished Bernadetta, Posted on May 1, 2021
Editor’s note: On April 1, 2021, we launched the hardcover remake of the April 1, 2019 editorial by Saul Ed Sinek, titled Why We Should Not Stop At Just Remaking MGS. We also announced a giveaway with several ways of entering, including creating your own remake of Saul Ed Sinek’s article. Congratulations to Punished Bernadetta, who put the effort into creating their own remake, published below.
In 2019 some nerd Saul Ed Sinek wrote an article where he was saying that Konami should go and remake all the previous games with all the modern improvements and whatnot. While I definitely agree that we need remakes of older games, I believe that remaking these games for the newest game consoles and PCs would be a waste of time and the only platform that would make sense to remake these games for is obviously Nintendo Wii.
Some whinny bitches might say that Wii’s graphics suck and nobody would pay $60 for a Wii game in 2021 but it’s obviously not true because have a look at this: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword was ported to some game console nobody cares about for $60 and people still bought it.
As you can see, people pay $60 for crappy Wii games even after more than a decade after Wii’s release, and our remakes will have a Metal Gear logo on the box so of course they will sell like hot cakes!
You may ask “But why Wii?” and I’ll tell you why: motion controls. Wii has the best motion controls in the world as you clearly see in this footage from E3 2008:
Why does Metal Gear need motion controls?
Isn’t it obvious? Motion controls will make you feel like your favorite character from Metal Gear. Can you imagine how immersive it would be to have to actually walk in real life on the Wii Balance to move around Shadow Moses, or actually have to use your hands to throw punches? Screw remakes that only improve graphics, we need remakes that actually make your experience more real!
Also, that’s why we need to get rid of the pause and save features. They only make games worse, but I will talk about this in my next article so stay tuned.
How will it enhance the lore?
Having to actually move your body to do stuff in the game would make you feel more connected to characters in the game. You will lose some weight, grow stubble, and become just as fit as Solid Snake himself. By the time we remake Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, our players will be just as tired and ill as Old Snake himself! Can you imagine how great it will be to see Snake having the back pain problems just like you?
How can it make experience even more immersive?
All that stuff is great on its own, but there’s one last thing that’s missing—you can’t feel pain from gunshots and punches. While the Wii doesn’t have an official accessory that might solve this problem, there’s nothing stopping us from developing our own. I present to you: The Wii Bonker (PATENTED!!!!!).
Original product do not steal.
Now send me the book please I can’t pay $20 (plus shipping).