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Metal Gear Solid 2: Get Over It!

Editorial by Ravi Singh, Posted on October 02, 2006

There still are many people that feel that Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty was not that swell of a game. Somehow, it was the worst of the series and the most over hyped piece of shit ever released in the form of a disc.

Odd, because I feel the complete opposite.

I could sit here and type out all the reasons why this video game is intellectually stunning and paved a road for a way video games can become “acceptable” to an audience who go nuts over “artsy” movies. But you know, I don’t feel like it.

Instead, I’m going to pick out some claims of why this game apparently sucks on used douche nozzles, and rip them apart. Of course, some of these claims are by people who actually believe that this game is, at least, decent. However, that does not justify shitty excuses used to demean the game.

Claim: Rose is unrealistically annoying.

“Raiden has the most annoying woman ever!”

While Benjamin from GameSpy makes a point that Rose is fucking obnoxious, obviously he doesn’t have enough experience with women to realize that some are a lot worse than that. Want an example? My friend was sleeping (with some girl, please note that he was at the moment, single) and his ex-girlfriend broke into his apartment with her dildo. She goes into his bedroom and starts shouting random shit while hitting my friend with her dildo. My friend, pissed off because he allegedly was very tired for “personal” reasons, picked up his ex, ran outside, and dropped her on the floor and locked the door. Ten minutes later, the police came by because she told them that he abused her. Sorry Benj, but Rose has nothing on the women I’ve known and have heard of.

And you fucking wait until they, for some god damn reason, make a Courtney Love video game!

On the same note, while Fargo apparently seems to have settled down with a lovely woman, his job keeps on making things hard between the two:

“…in all our years dating and living together, this is the first and only game where the dialogue was so bad that my wife actually had to get up and leave the room. Ouch.”

Ouch indeed. But what did, or would, your wife do during a run through the original Resident Evil? You know, the one with lines such as “You were almost a Jill sandwich!” or the every-so-popular “Jill, why don’t you, the master of unlocking, take this lock pick.” How about Devil May Cry, which is a fun game, but admittedly tries TOO hard to be cool with lines such as “Flock off, featherface!” and “I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with liiiiiiight!!!” C’mon now. Sons of Liberty is a step down from the first Metal Gear Solid but there have been worse examples of dialogue in gaming.

“[Raiden] has a huge emotional attachment to Rose, one of the most annoying female love interests I have ever seen in a game…”

Like Benjamin, this poor guy just doesn’t have experience with women outside of hentai where rape is like giving a girl a handshake! And besides, doesn’t anyone ever wonder if they deserve each other? The two kinda work together, really.

Claim: Raiden is gay!

OH NOS! SOMEBODY TRIGGERED THE GAYD4R!!!

“Even if we needed him for a part in the whole metal gear series why did they make him a limp wristed pillow biter, to make things worse they give his a girl friend whose twice as annoying as he is.”
– Cory P, who is not sure if Raiden being a pillow biter or having a girlfriend is worse.

While Raikov from Snake Eater is at least bisexual, Raiden does not seem to be gay, despite what many people state. First off, he has an annoying girlfriend, who’s pregnant. If you kids don’t know, he laid pipes with a girl in order to get her pregnant. Even then, let’s assume Raiden is actually gay. So. Fucking. What.

Oh, so you wanted to play as Snake some more? Why the lust after Snake? Maybe YOU’RE the gay one, and you’re so sexually suppressed that you label Raiden as a homosexual because you have a thing for Solid Snake but don’t want anyone to know about it? Yeah, figures.


Raiden’s not gay. YOU’RE gay. And that ‘s okay.

“Didn’t we all buy this to play as Snake???”

I don’t think that was the reason why I bought the game. I think I bought it for the… game.

Also, the people who were pissed that they had to see Raiden’s bare ass – get the fuck over it. I drive home from work every night and have to drive through Sunset on Hollywood and always have to see a billboard for jeans in which a woman is looking at a guy and all you see of the guy is a bare ass. Welcome to life, we’re surrounded by asses, many of which you simply do not want to look at.

Claim: The codec conversations/cutscenes are too long!!!

I don’t need to give an example of this claim. What I will do is state that pressing TRIANGLE twice allows you to skip the conversation. Pressing nearly any button skips cutscenes.

“Oooh, but what about the story, then?! How can you know the story if you skip the codec and cutscenes?!”

…then fucking watch them!!! If you actually do give a shit about the story, watch them. If you don’t like the story, or don’t care, SKIP THEM!!! If the story is that important to you then why are you mad at what is essentially the story?

Claim: The set-up is too much like Metal Gear Solid.

Then you obviously skipped the cutscenes and codec conversations. There’s a reason why some things from the Plant Chapter seems so familiar…

As for people who think the S3 thing is bullshit, despite the fact that that’s not even why it’s supposed to be similar to Shadow Moses:

“These bad guys don’t seem to know that Snake himself is the result of genetic cloning, and that seemed to work fine.”

What? No it didn’t. The Snakes age rapidly, and even the Secretary of Defense during Shadow Moses, Jim Houseman, was willing to nuke Liquid and Solid Snake, letting President Sears live because, well, it would be weird to have the President of the United States die from a nuclear attack in Alaska.

Claim: They cut out a major portion of the game for 9/11!

“We all remember September 11, 2001, but that was just a stupid reason to cut out a huge portion of a latter game cut scene.”
Some Fucking Guy, during the scene in which Raiden and Solidus land on the roof of Federal Hall:

What cutscene is this? Well, according to The Document, a scene of Arsenal Gear crashing into Manhattan and a television report about that whole thing. That’s it. Nothing major. It was all in respect for the victims of September 11th. What would have been better, a delay? Besides, this guy keeps on going by saying:

“I won’t give it away, but I warn you, it makes no sense.”

How does it make no sense? After Snake chases after RAY, Arsenal Gear crashes into New York and the impact causes Raiden and Solidus to fly off and land on top of Federal Hall. I figured this out the first time I played the game. Do you guys have to be shown every single thing to get something? No wonder the game’s story was so confusing. I bet you guys didn’t realize that Snake was Pliskin, since, after all, you never saw Solid Snake actually put on his disguise.

Claim: Controls were too hard

“So I had to use a total of 4 buttons, not that much but it was completely impossible to move easyily and fast enough.”
– tyltyl (Tell You Later Tell You Later? Alrighty then.)

Poor guy. He’s used to pressing one (1) button at a time. Sorry, that was harsh of me. He probably was able to play old NES games that involved two (that’s 2) buttons. I am not sure how he reacted to the SEGA Genesis/MegaDrive controllers… with the choice of three buttons to make Sonic jump, he probably got real pissed off when he realized that he had to hold DOWN while pressing A, B, or C to do a Spindash. Four buttons?! Fuck that noise.

Claim: The game’s not stealthy because it has a lot of weapons that aren’t quite stealthy at all.

“You do have a nice assortment of weapons though. Everything from grenades to rocket launchers and assault rifles. Very stealthy.”
– ZokeThe2nd, not to be confused with the first and third Zokes, should they exist.

There are certain parts in the game where Raiden does not have to be stealthy. They are during boss battles and during that part inside of Arsenal Gear with Solid Snake which I call “The Big Fat Kill.” Seriously though. How else would you take down a Harrier? The SOCOM can only get you so far.

Harrier 2, built to last, by Scorp

This isn’t Splinter Cell, alright?

Claim: Not realistic enough.

“For a game with a realistic setting and hyper-realistic gameplay, the inclusion of super villains with super powers seemed out of place. At times, Metal Gear Solid seemed more like X-Men than a James Bond.”

Yes, because the 007 series is not only what Metal Gear is trying to be, but also the most realistic espionage series ever. People like Jaws, Oddjob, Goldfinger, Baron Samedi really do exist and they will totally fuck you up. And if you work for the British government, you will get laid more often than you really need to be, by friends and fiends alike!

For the people who argue that the first Metal Gear Solid having realistic villains, I think not! People like Raven don’t exist. Same for Psycho Mantis. People just don’t float around and make women go “MAKE LOVE TO ME” for if there was, he would be the most successful musician and business man in Vegas.

Claim: Raiden looks like a girl.

“raiden does look like a girl if you think about it. just add some breasts and…………………… lol”
– Bergey, thinking about it.

Quick, is this person a girl or a dude:

The answer? I don’t know and really my point is: who cares? Also, it could have been much worse:

RIDICULOUS CLAIMS: Claims that only approximately two people believe.

Claim: Sons of Liberty is religious.
“…preachy religious story line towards the end.”
– B.S., rational free-thinker oppressed by Kojima.

I don’t know if religion has anything to do with mind control (well, okay, sometimes it does, but, well, never mind) but B.S. thinks so.  Is it because Vamp turned into Vamp in a church? The church bombing fuck-up by Peter Stillman? La-Le-Lu-Li-Lo? Were you smoking the ganja, sir?

Claim: Sons of Liberty tells kids to kill people.
“This is violent and teaches children it is ok to play with guns and killing people.”

Yes, Professor Solid Snake taught me so well that I have… not killed anyone. I do play with guns. But they’re not real guns. Those my father taught me how to shoot and handle safely. In fact, that’s not what you’re talking about here.

Now the funny thing is, I’m sure that there are several other things that Alicia does approve of, but is utter bullshit. Just don’t even buy your kids a television or even a CD-player if you’re afraid of things like video games, music, movies, etc. to, somehow, become “The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Playing With Guns And Killing People.” Alice, it’s not video games, its your dumb-as-shit kids. Or to be fair, how dumb-as-shit you assume your kids are.

Claim: Raiden looks like a little boy.
“[Raiden] has almost no physicial [sic] definition [and he] look[s] like a ten year old boy.”

Um, okay? Not only does this ring the GARD4R, because honestly, a male’s physical appearance never ever was of any importance to a straight man like me, but if there was a ten year old who had the body of Raiden, I would not fuck with him because that is one built son of a bitch.

Claim: Sons of Liberty wants you to play Metal Gear Solid first but stealth games suck so why would anyone ever do that?
“[…]but the thing is that I have never been all that interested in the series, and stealth games are not among my favourite, so I don’t care if I never happen to play the first game entirely”
– Braben

…why the hell are you reviewing this game?!

Claim: Raiden is not funny!
“Raiden never once cracked a joke”
Kyle B… once again.

Yes, the game would have been 1,872,812 times better had Raiden just once in a while turned to the camera and did this:


LOL! RAIDENS SO FUNNY MORE THAN SMNAKE!!1

And with that, to sum up most of all the hate: get over Raiden.

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