MGS SOCIAL BROS

With the game still within the planning stages, Metal Gear Solid: RISING for the PS3, XGay 360, and PC (Pecker Cobbler), will probably be released some time next month. And it’ll include a beta code for the MGO that will ship with the remake of the MSX games. I know this because my uncle works for Kojima Productions despite not knowing a thing about game design/programming or is in any way Japanese.

The good news is that what we’ve seen so far of the game, suggests that it will be nothing like a “true” Metal Gear game, but instead be a hack-in-slash game with minor stealth elements. But who gives a shit? Fucking NINJAS BRO!!!!!

Despite the guaranteed masterpiece this game is destined to be, many insist on bitching about the game. It’s not even released yet, so they have little information to base a good opinion. Wait until the game comes out, then bitch. Until then, we’ll go on about how super fucking awesome it looks because that’s totally not hypocritical!

Still bitching? Well then, as the head bro of this fine website, I will bitch about why having negative opinions (no matter how constructive) makes you gay.

SILENT CUTTING

The only good thing about MGS2 now has it’s own game. And it’s been said that the game will be more action focused. Thank god, because I can’t stand any of the games before MGS3 because of how much you had to sneak and shit. MGS3 helped, what with the variety of guns, but the limited ammo was still a problem. Then MGS4 gave us a true stroke of brilliance; the ammo/weapon-on-demand Drebin Shop. And now it’s come full-circle here, where you play as a badass ninja that cuts shit up because that’s all ninjas do.

…But the fan base’s reaction is hilarious. Many of them go on about how MGS should be about stealth, but obviously these are just too much of a pussy to fight like a man. That’s why MGO has such a wonderful community; because it has people that want to stand up and fight for their ranks!

Besides, they already said that there will be stealth, albeit more action focused, but if I were the great Shigenobu Matsuyama, I would go the extra mile and get rid of stealth all together, just so I could hear you fags cry.

CUTSCENE CUTTING

Another one of MGS2′s mistakes were it’s long cutscenes. If I want to watch a movie, I’ll watch a movie. If I want to play a game, I’ll play a game. Of course, going by this logic, both MGS3 and MGS4 should suck too (4 actually has longer cutscenes than any of the games), but fuck you Raiden’s gay.

Thankfully, in an interview, Shigenobu Matsuyama has confirmed that the story will have less cutscenes and will be more straight forward. What’s more, they promise that it will have MORE ACTION! That means MORE NINJAS! FUCK YEAH, NINJAS!

GAY CUTTING

One of the greatest non-Big Boss related things about MGS4 was how Kojima made up for his mistakes by turning Raiden into a ninja. He’s just so badass. I know people will whine about how GAYden went from a much more deep and more significant character to a badass emo-bitch ninja, but as always these people don’t understand what the series is all about; being the most badass thing as fucking possible. RISING will raise the bar in badassedness once again.

CONCLUSION

It’s a fucking multiplatform game, so of course it won’t be pushed to the limits due to the limitations of the XCox 360. But I guess it could work if the 360 version came with 20 dual-sided disks. So it shouldn’t stop this game from being the best it can be. What WILL though, would be everyone bitching about what isn’t broken. It’s no different from those idiots that think MPO wasn’t genius. Guys, RISING will come regardless of how much you bitch. There’s no point in criticizingly upcoming games because opinions are stupid. Don’t get your panties in a knot. We should tell these kiddies to grow up and stop having opinions! Consider it, “Rising through fanboy deterrence.!”