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Myth: It’s unknown who The Boss and The Sorrow’ child was

Fact: It’s hinted and also pretty much laid flat out who he is in the game…

By Ravi Singh, Posted in 2004

Ok, so we learn that The Boss and The Sorrow were intimate and The Boss popped out their love’s by-product during the Normandy Invasion. Then The Philosophers kidnapped him and stitched up a snake-like scar on The Boss. Hot?

Anyways, the thing is, the game doesn’t tell you who the baby is. Well, it does, but not if you just play it and watch the normal cutscenes. So we can guess that it’s…

…no fucking way. Snake? Naked Snake? Who becomes Big Boss himself? He’s the son of The Boss?

Ew. No. That would have meant he had a relationship with his mother. Which is fucking gross as hell, no offence to any of you… mother lovers out there. But then, somebody pointed out that Snake did NOT know about the scar covering The Boss’s chest. So either he didn’t get that far, they did get far – in the dark, she likes keeping her shirt on (which is odd, but I’m down), or they didn’t do anything of the sort. Which means it isn’t gross if he was her son. Except he isn’t.

…but then, perhaps Snake was looking at something… below?

Anyways, why am I so sure? Well, I can prove by using the date of the Normandy invasion and such that Snake is way too old to be able to pop outta The Boss’ ‘gine, but the game helps explain it better – because it DOES tell you who her son really is.

Here’s the thing people don’t seem to notice in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater – most of the details regarding people, their backgrounds, and such, are in radio conversations. It just so happens that there weren’t that many mandatory radio conversations in the game because too many kids were bitching and whining about the Codec conversations in Sons of Liberty (and how Raiden looks gay. Those people must have never seen California, where everything looks gay). So we were technically left out of this call between EVA and Snake, which is IN the game, except you have to keep on calling EVA shortly after you shoot Ocelot a bunch of times with rad music playing in the background before a fuckload of bees fly into his spinning revolvers of death, and you jump into a dark cave:

Snake: EVA, I wanted to ask you about Ocelot…

EVA: Yeah, I know. He’s pretty infatuated with you, isn’t he?

Snake: That’s not what I meant. Aren’t the Ocelots an elite unit?

EVA: Yeah.

Snake: So how’d he get to be their commander? He can’t be any older than 18 or 19. I can’t believe he’s already a major…

EVA: I heard from the Colonel that he’s been given… special treatment.

Snake: Special treatment?

EVA: Yeah. He’s the son of some legendary hero or something.

Snake: No wonder he seems to have the right stuff… So who is this legendary hero, anyway?

EVA: Beats me.

Snake: …

EVA: The Colonel never told me. All I heard was that his mother was supposedly shot in the gut during battle and that he was born right there, with bullets whizzing past them.

Snake: A pregnant woman in the middle of a battle?

EVA: That’s what I heard. They say that when they stitched her up, the scar was shaped like a snake.

Snake: Well, that’s battlefield medicine for you. What about his father, this legendary hero?

EVA: He didn’t tell me. I don’t think Ocelot’s ever met his parents.

Snake: Are they dead?

EVA: Maybe, I don’t know. There were a lot of MIAs back then, during the last days of the war. Ocelot probably would have ended up the same way. But he was taken in and raised by GRU and Volgin.

Snake: Because he was special?

EVA: That’s my guess.

Wait, this is a question of Ocelot’s parents… correct, Mr. Short Minded. But let’s analyze who his parents are out of this seemingly unimportant conversation:

1) One of them is a legendary hero. 2) The mother got shot and had to deliver Ocelot in the battlefield during a war. 3) The mother got stitched up, and her scar looks like a snake.

Um, guess who? The Joy. AKA The Boss.

You might wonder why Snake said:

What about his father, this legendary hero?

Simple explanation: when you think “legendary hero” we assume a man. Sorry, women, it’s just our nature. The Boss is as legendary as fucking Lucky of Lucky Charms fame, but Snake wasn’t expecting her to be Ocelot’s mother or anything. Whatever.

And besides, doesn’t The Sorrow look like a gothXemo version of Ocelot anyways? Observe the eyes:

Plus – doesn’t that whole thing regarding Liquid Snake being able to tap into Ocelot’s body even though he’s very much dead make sense with The Sorrow’s power of… dead people things? Kind of, at least?

Case closed.

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