Long Distance Relationships...

[sour girl]

I bring this up because, in my circle of friends, the topic comes up quite a bit. And I wonder what you all think of this type of relationship, if you would venture out and try this? Have feelings but know it's not for you, or seems too complicated, stressful, not as meaningful?...

I've been there, but I was young and although I was very much a supporter of long distance love, I think my experience has brought to me things that when in the relationship, I never noticed, until the pain of ending it came about.

For me, to love who I did with the distance came very easy. I was very content in just knowing I was with the one I held so much love and respect for. I was very creative in closing the gap that was between us, and I learned very fast that when the time came to bring him back to the Airport, I had to manup and be strong for him, then cry the ride home, have bouts of physical sickness because the ache to be together would do that to me. There are so many other things, but too many to type, a yrs. worth actually. However, although my past experience will have me have cold feet to think myself in another, I think they do work. I have friends who have stayed strong and are finally living the life together, as they always wanted, they now have what they waited for. It is less than amazing to see this play out because I find it very special, but you need a really strong heart and much about you to keep it right. Lets not forget the cash you'll need to visit.

I wonder, how you guys feel of this...what makes it worth it or not? Or is it that just some know its not for them?

I also will add, if this was discussed in length before, I apologize, but I thought it ok to start again, as peoples opinions change through time.

[JudgePred]

Long distances in a relationship.. if the relationship is a deep one, no distance can break its bond, but be ready for the pain of bringing it together and knowing the concequence of when that bond stretches back out again.. it will hurt, but not as bad if you realise it first. They can work even if you've never met the person in real life..I've had friends for years now and we only grow closer as time passes as if they were only next door but actually states away. In terms of love.. take it how you will, its the ultimate form of trust.

[sour girl]

True, alot more communication is done with distance I think, or it can be the case if you are shy and have a problem to talk in such detail IRL. I sometimes have trouble IRL expressing some things because IRL, you are there with body language and eye to eye contact.

Some of the best communication is done with letters and phone calls..I can remember being on the phone for hrs...just talking. It was surprising that when we did finally meet, it was like I knew him forever, well..it had been 5 yrs. so I suppose that is a long time.

So Judge, you would be one to consider distance?

[JudgePred]

[Fenya]

I do not believe in long distance relationship.

[sour girl]

[Fenya]

Well it's obvious because I've yet to see one work.

I'm judging by my own and from people I know experiences.

[MercuryLemur]

All I've got to say is it takes a lot of trust, but it can work out...as long as there's a reason to believe that the distance is only temporary.

[Econs]

Long distance relationships are doomed to fail.

[67 Bob]

Gotta agree that long distance relationships fail....it's too easy for people to stray and fuck someone else.

[sour girl]

I've seen quite a few work out, even to getting married and relocating. Although hard, I think they are possible...I mean, even relationships where there is no distance are doomed to fail with both the wrong people.

I agree with Judge Pred, and Merc.

67Bob..thats also easy anytime, distance or not. I mean, is your heart into it or not?

[Sir Rottingham]

[67 Bob]

Of course its easy whenever......but, when distance is thrown into the equation, people tend to get stupid.

I think its because its easier to get away with, thats my reasoning. Especially if the relationship is distanced by something like school.

I'm not saying its impossible for a long distance relationship to work, but BOTH parties have to have 100% of their heart into it. After people are physically separated for a while, they find comfort in others arms. Without the other there to show that love, they find it somewhere else.

Its human nature to want to be with someone, even if its not the one they love.

[sour girl]

[67 Bob]

I agree with what you say, but both people have to be committed fully.

I've seen the most faithful, devout, caring individuals stray from their loved in a moment of.....weakness, I guess you can call it, because there was a person physically there paying attention to them and making them feel good. People tend to go for whats physically in front of them.

And because of that one time, they feel guilt afterwards, tell their loved one and it all goes to hell. Hence one reason on my view that distant relationships do indeed fail.

Your own lasted a year......and that was because he was a control freak, no? That gives us an indicator that there are other factors involved in the demise of a relationship, such as that, or people falling out of love, finding another, and so on.

If my girfriend went to school in another state and ended up falling in love with someone else about a year after she left, I'd understand. It would suck, but I would understand.