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Is Kojima a witch? - Printable Version

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Is Kojima a witch? - Venom Animal - 05-03-2014 03:21 PM

Men and women of the soup, I come to you with great concern today. I am concerned that Hideo Kojima---the racist, sexist, homophobic, pedophile we all know and love---is in fact a practitioner of the dark arts. In fact (it's a fact!) I'm almost positive that Kojima is a heathen and a Satan worshiper, based on a laundry list of evidence I've compiled:

>>>Lots of characters in his games have supernatural powers, like witches. Why would Kojima have magic, ghosts and demons in his games if he wasn't a purveyor of wizardry? Exactly.

>>>It's true that none of Kojima's employees have ever accused him of demonic clairvoyance, but none of them have denied it either. This proves that not only does Kojima channel dark spirits, but that many or all of his employees are possessed by arcane apparitions.

>>>I know a guy who knows someone on twitter who says she heard someone else say that Kojima has been seen taking the form of a swarm of ravens, circling above Konami HQ and casting sinister omens on midtown Tokyo.

>>>Kojima is at least 50 years old, but he looks no older than 35. What if he's 100 years old? Or 500? Since he's a witch, we'll never know.

For all these reasons and more I would compel the Japanese authorities to toss Kojima in the ocean as soon as possible. If he survives, then that confirms the fact (fact!) that he is an immortal witch from hell. If not, well, we can never be too safe.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - THEND - 05-03-2014 03:26 PM

Kojima is pure evil duh


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Code_R - 05-03-2014 04:07 PM

Probably a Yokai since he's been fucking with us for so long.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Venom Animal - 05-03-2014 04:11 PM

(05-03-2014 04:07 PM)Fight the Future Wrote:  Probably a Yokai since he's been fucking with us for so long.

The anime about high-school students battling Yokai is called Beyond the Boundary. The main theme-song of the Kojima-produced game Zone of the Enders is Beyond the Bounds. Coincidence? No. Fact.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Solidsuitlarry - 05-03-2014 04:54 PM

Asian people age weird.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - THEND - 05-03-2014 05:23 PM

Wasnt I saying Kojima made MGS1 was about himself? I retract my own theory . The Kojima clone is alive in his basement chained to a brick wall. After torturing it he feeds it retcons and idealism


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Solidsuitlarry - 05-03-2014 05:35 PM

So it's like WE are his clone.....


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Venom Animal - 05-03-2014 05:45 PM

(05-03-2014 05:35 PM)Solidsuitlarry Wrote:  So it's like WE are his clone.....

THE MEMES


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - THEND - 05-03-2014 07:32 PM

(05-03-2014 05:45 PM)Punished Animal Wrote:  
(05-03-2014 05:35 PM)Solidsuitlarry Wrote:  So it's like WE are his clone.....

THE MEMES

[Image: i9PU4hD.jpg]

This is literally you


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Solidsuitlarry - 05-03-2014 08:53 PM

(05-03-2014 07:32 PM)nanoMACHINEguna Wrote:  
(05-03-2014 05:45 PM)Punished Animal Wrote:  
(05-03-2014 05:35 PM)Solidsuitlarry Wrote:  So it's like WE are his clone.....

THE MEMES

[Image: i9PU4hD.jpg]

This is literally you

I want to kiss that star.

What's wrong with that? It's totally disease free.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Code_R - 05-04-2014 02:28 AM

(05-03-2014 04:54 PM)Solidsuitlarry Wrote:  Asian people age weird.

Boktai was about vampires... coincidence?


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Solidsuitlarry - 05-04-2014 02:35 AM

(05-04-2014 02:28 AM)Fight the Future Wrote:  
(05-03-2014 04:54 PM)Solidsuitlarry Wrote:  Asian people age weird.

Boktai was about vampires... coincidence?

Nope, Chuck Testa.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Venom Animal - 05-04-2014 03:55 AM

I don't think you guys are taking this thread seriously enough. Even still, the fact that there are 12 replies proves (Proves it! Undeniably!) that there's something to this. Throw Kojima in the ocean to save us from sexist witches.


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Old Gross - 05-04-2014 06:13 AM

(05-04-2014 03:55 AM)Punished Animal Wrote:  Throw Kojima in the ocean to save us from sexist witches.
But Kojima-san's a genius. Sad


RE: Is Kojima a witch? - Ex-President - 05-04-2014 11:33 AM

Animal confirmed as greatest Soup member of all time.