Metal Gear News
MGS4: Payton to westernizimitize Guns of the Patriots
September 25, 2007 08:07 am
Seriously, it's like the Tokyo Game Show this year gave Major Spoiler a hangover--because there's still newsworthy shit thanks to Ryan Payton. What the fuck does Payton do anyways besides jumping into pictures at the last moment, dressing snazzy, smiling a bit too much, and getting a little nerved at being given Halo as an example of why MGS4 and MGO should be sold together? According to Kotaku:
"...while Metal Gear figurehead Hideo Kojima is the great river from which all ideas flow, Payton may be the dam that controls the flow of insanity."
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa... no. Just no. Last time I checked, Sons of Liberty was pretty fucking insane, yet, if everybody would just get over Raiden and their homophobia, they'd realize what a great game it. One of the best Metal Gear games out there. Building a dam just makes Kojima write up, I dunno, Snake Eater.
Maybe I'm being too harsh. Afterall, Payton did convince Kojima to re-release Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake since internet petitions (hey it was worth a shot) are as effective as praying your AIDS away (could be worth a shot). Still, could this be the very same dam responsible for the humorless and boorish Portable Ops? Wait, what the fuck does the Ryan Payton Dam do, exactly?
"...there are also plenty of technical ideas that must be implemented, with Payton aiding to implement a simplified control scheme and further addressing Western tastes."
It's not like Kojima isn't westernized already. The guy listens to post punk 1980's shit and watches all kinds of films. The idea that somebody is telling him to alter things so that it will please some westerners is just... wrong. Do you hate Raiden? Didn't they put him in there to attract fourteen year-old Japanese girls or something?
Yet even that's excusable because I'm sure that Metal Gear has yet to infiltrate the fourteen year-old Asian girl market. Metal Gear is pretty damn popular in North America and Europe. Sure, it's no Halo, and it's not Link, but Solid Snake is known to be some tuff guy with a mullet and a bandanna.
Let's not get carried away here. What has Payton done to Guns of the Patriots?
"What has grown to become a complicated control scheme that requires great finger dexterity has been wisely refitted to appeal to both hardcore players and those who have never played a Metal Gear game before."
"Finger dexterity?" Please be joking. I mean, the controls were a little off on the Xbox port of Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance, but for the most part, it's not like playing Metal Gear was ever akin to knitting, playing bass, and finger fucking. I'll go ahead and say that running-and-shooting in Metal Gear Solid might be akin to finger fucking a creature with a weird vagina, but it's sequels totally fixed this.
I have yet to play the demo for Guns of the Patriots. Maybe the controls are better. It doesn't sound like it is, but it's not like the controls for Snake Eater were shitty... at all. However, claiming that the controls of previous Metal gear Solid titles required "finger dexterity" isn't surprising from this Kotaku writer who adds:
"Oh yeah, for those of you who find the culturally inverted use of circle to confirm and X to cancel confusing, Payton says they're planning on addressing that for the Western release."
I'm not going to be a Bleach-watching-faggot and claim that I never goofed and pressed "X" when running a Metal Gear game after months of having a life. It's just that I figured it out. Fast. I've heard of random people who gave up when they were naked in Arsenal Gear, or walking through The Sorrow's, um, sorrow, but this scenario never happened despite what stereotyping gaming journalists assume:
Look, I know it's no big deal. Some could argue that it's good that Kojima Productions now has a white guy whom they can ask numerous questions to. Ryan Payton seems like a cool enough guy. It's just that the way Kotaku portrays it, not only do they grossly overstate Payton's job but it's like Kojima needs some guy to be all like "No Kojima, this is not what the fanboys in the west want." I'm glad Kojima's leaving Metal Gear. Maybe when he's working on an all-new game, people will let him do whatever the fuck he wants. Not like Kojima's perfect or anything, but if we succumb to a target audience's ridiculous desires, Guns of the Patriots might end up looking for this:
It addresses westerner's taste.