Myth:
You can't run and shoot at the same time in Metal Gear Solid.
Fact: You need to fucking read the instruction booklet.
No, I'm serious. This is a myth. Not a very common one, but it still spreads around. Now
the game itself doesn't really tell you, but you can have Snake hold out his gun
and run while shooting. This is how I pretty much how I defeated Ocelot and got
through that part where you run up the tower with the guards coming down at you.
How the dumbfucks did it without running and shooting? Probably using a GameShark
and unlimited Stun Grenades. Those fuckers.
I found out about the ability to do this in the instruction booklet for Metal Gear
Solid. Now I know that people buy used games that don't have a manual. That's why
we have the internet. You know how many Guides/Walkthroughs have controls on them,
and what the main character can do? How about GameFAQs.com? I mean, it's pretty
damn popular.
But wait, wait... even some people who go to GameFAQs believe this myth.
From a
GameFAQ user Metal Gear Solid review done by some lad named Lagunathemoron:
"The game's control system is rather poor. A Young gamer may have trouble controlling
Solid Snake, the central character, for quite some time. Snake can't do much stuff
either, apart from shoot, run, walk and smoke, for example he can't run and shoot
at the same time, or he can't jump, and in this game it will be quite useful."
Wow. Lagunathemoron indeed. While I can waste my time pointing out the idiocy
of the entire review this fellow gave - such as young gamers who can't play rated
"M" games (good, young gamers suck and are usually the annoying fucks that post
stupid and annoying messages in message boards), or how jumping would make this
game easier... somehow (I dunno, maybe landing your jump makes a loud noise so the
guards will go to you and go "Who's there?" Or maybe so we can do split jumps. I
think crawling was the more necessary thing here though, Laguna. The moron. Heh),
or how he thinks Metal Gear and Snake's Revenge for NES were better than this game,
I'm going to instead go back at the matter of hand:
The myth. Of Snake not being able to run and shoot. Well, here's a screenshot I
took to prove that Snake CAN run and shoot. Enlarged to the sight impaired so you
can notice Snake's legs:
Wha?! How did I do that?
Me, being the nice (hahahah... ha... ok) guy I am, will show you that this simple
process can be done. With pictures too! Just like those books you read! What? You've
read The Mouse and the Motorcycle? I'm so proud of you dear, but some other
people might be a bit slower. Besides, you've only read the summary on the back
of that book. How did I know? I'm just that amazing.
First, you draw out your weapon. I recommend practicing
with the SOCOM first because the FA-MAS automatically
fires, so you'll waste some bullets while you read this shit.
SQUARE is the weapon button. I'm holding it. Now, here's
the next step, don't let go of that button...
...and hold the crawl button as well, which is the X button.
You can, seriously, hold two buttons at the same time using
the same thumb. It's not as hard as your poor shoddy 'lil head
might think it is. Note that the tip of the thumb is directly over
SQUARE so that you can let go of SQUARE whenever you feel like it.
Congratulations! Now you can use your other hand to move Snake towards any direction!
If you're using the SOCOM, use the tip of your finger to tap the SQUARE button to
fire bullets. With the FA-MAS, release the tip of your thumb (but hold the same
position) when you don't want to fire. When you want to shoot a full round at some
suckers, hold SQUARE. Or you can just tap L1 to quickly unequip your weapon when
you don't want to fire.
I have never seen anyone complain about "not being able to" run-and-shoot at the
same time for Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. Maybe this is because they've got
plenty of other things to complain about.
But just in case, it's
the same thing as above, except the button layout, and the weapon lock. First you
hold the weapon button ("A") first, and then hold the weapon lock button ("Y") so
you don't waste bullets, then hold the PUNCH button ("B"). If holding three buttons
with the same thumb makes you bitch a lot, just tap the "R" trigger so you unequip
your weapon. I didn't post pictures because I don't have a GameCube controller with
me, and, well...
...anyone who actually needed to use this sort of "guide" I just wrote... instead
of playing video games, lock the door and read a book because if you're this stupid,
when you step outside your house, you're just inviting trouble. Trouble like gunshots,
people who beat up stupid people like you, and people who deliver the mail. Oh,
and college. So try to read. You're reading right now! Except what you're reading
is pure junk. Read something like The Great Gatsby, Brave New World
or Animal Farm. Or even Ralph S. Mouse if you must.
The moral of this myth? Read your fucking instruction booklets before declaring
that a game can't let you do something. Or shoot yourself. I prefer the latter.
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