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| Metal Gears
Talk shit all you want, but I'm sure you wish this thing existed in real life,
unless you enjoy inflated prices.
Developed: 199X by Dr. Kio Marv
Also known as: Botulliococcus Ozuma Brownie, Oil-X
By taking the plankton Botulliococcus Brownie and fucking with it's genes, Dr.
Kio Marv created Botulliococcus Ozuma Brownie, codenamed "Oil-X," which shits
what is basically the equivalent of raw mineral oil. As long as Oil-X, which later
becomes to be known as OILIX, is in a hot an dry environment with lots of sunlight
it can create tons of oil. With the ability to get aviation fuel and 96 octane
gasoline from this oil for a very low cost, Botulliococcus Ozuma Brownie is a
sign of hope for the turn of the century during a brutal energy crisis.
ATTEMPTED USE IN ZANZIBAR LAND
Japanese translated into English: "A TINY ORGANISM HOLDS THE FATE OF THE
...and a tiny militant nation holds the tiny organism that holds the fate
of the world.
On his way to reveal OILIX at the Praha World Energy Conference, Dr. Kio
Marv's plane is hijacked by Zanzibar Land agents who kidnap him in hopes of
securing the OILIX formula so they can have a bigger global influence. Zanzibar
Land actually is one of the best places for OILIX to be since it's fucking hot,
very dry, and the sun is out longer than it is in most locations, so Zanzibar
Land leader Big Boss probably was planning on using OILIX to create oil and
control the economies of practically every developed and developing nation.
The problem is that it seems like the OILIX formula is nowhere to be found.
Dr. Pettrovich Madnar,
who posed as a prisoner but was in reality working for Zanzibar Land, ends up
ultimately killing Dr. Kio Marv by being a bit too rough during an interrogation.
In reality, the OILIX formula was hidden on an MSX cartridge. Dr. Kio Marv liked
to make fangames or some shit and, instead of using ROM images, he used actual
cartridges. The Zanzibar Land soldiers no doubt thought the cartridge was some
videogame about penguins or whatever and kept it in a locker that likely had
some of Kio Marv's other possessions. That or one of the soldiers was a huge
MSX geek and purposely kept it to himself. The key to this locker can change
shape in certain temperatures and was found by Kio Marv's bodyguard, Gustava
Heffner (Natasha Markova in the original release). Heffner gave the key, which
was in the shape of a Zanzibar Land brooch, to FOX-HOUND agent
Solid Snake right before
Hours later, Snake freezes the brooch and uses the key that is formed out of
it to open the locker. The locker seems empty, but there is a hole that's big
enough to crawl through. It's unknown wither or not Natasha hid the cartridge
in here or if somebody was a fucktard, but Snake manages to get the MSX cartridge
out and keep it from the hands of Gray Fox and Big Boss. OILIX was a success
and the energy crises was averted--just in time for Christmas dinner.
Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (1990)
Cameo, Crossover, and Misc. appearances:
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence
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